I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
