shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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