She is in my trunk
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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