bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
