i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
