I must be too annoying 4 u.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
