I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
