Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
