Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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