I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
