Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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