I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
