He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
