Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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