have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
