id be glad to
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
