Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
