Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
