Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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