Apparently you make a good broom.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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