I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How's work?
Spinning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
