I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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