Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't deserve a penis
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
