I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
