i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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