am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
