i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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