Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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