Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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