guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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