I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Who died my cat blue again?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
