He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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