Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
