I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm just crazy horny about you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
