she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He shit in the fireplace
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