I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
