why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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