We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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