im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
