Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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