So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
