I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
