Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
