I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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