...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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