You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
