No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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