Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
