There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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