Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
