So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
